Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Metro Ménage

If you've ever ridden any mode of public transportation in a urban area then you are familiar with the unpredictable & unexplainable. I have had my fair share of experiences as a native Washingtonian who has been riding the bus and train for the past 10 or so years. From the unks and the crackheads who ride the 70 & 71 to the ghettofabulous children who ride the 30 buses, I've seen it all...

On one particular day this summer, I was riding the Metro home from work. I found a seat, got comfortable, and began reading a novel I was in the middle of. I'm usually oblivious to those around me on the Metro because I almost always have something to read to help me tune everything out. However I do have two rules I abide by 1. avoid sitting by anyone who smells, preaches, or is already talking loudly & 2. survey the train as you enter it. So when this guy sat beside me I was fully aware of the fact that he had been standing in the corner with his co-workers all along. How did I know they were co-workers? They all wore government badges around their necks.

The guy sits, introduces himself as _____. I politely say nice to meet you _____ and continue to read. Guys should see this as a challenge, because if you are able to successfully divert a female's attention from a book, etc. without annoying her, then you've probably got her. He asked what I was reading and I told him " a book by George Pelecanos; he's from here..." He seemed interrested and here the fun begins:

GUY: "I knew you were smart when I saw you get on the train. You're all reading your book and whatnot. You in school?"
ME: "Yea..."
GUY: "I knew it. You have a pretty face. [Pause]
ME: [Confused look @ the weak pick-up line] 'Thank you."
GUY: "Can I ask you a personal question? I don't want to offend you or make you mad you know..."
ME: [Out of curiosity I respond>] "Yea, go ahead."
GUY: "Are you attracted to other women? Like not are you gay, but like do you think they're pretty?"
ME: "Yea, I think certain women are pretty."
GUY: "Well me and my wife we like trying new things and I was wondering if you would like to have fun with us? We're really close & we've done it once before. But we're only looking for someone who has they're head on straight; that has something going for theirselves."
ME: "Um, no I have a boyfriend, I don't think so. Why don't you just find the other person yall tried it with?"
GUY: "She moved to North Carolina."


So I had a pleasant talk with a stranger and an offer for a ménage à trois all in the same convo. And it left me on the fence about the ménage à trois phenomenon. Most people fantasize about them. Some execute them. But if you're in a relationship is it worth it try it? Seems so risky. I feel like over time I've decided that I'm not interested in them. But to each his own...



Here's a link for a funny metrorail "performance":

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-NZtGz_7WI0